Courage And Love

Walking down a path through some woods in AMU, I saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked! Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn't have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack. Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier. He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed.

Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her. Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed.

I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.

Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly's courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

where is the love?

Imagine for a second that a young couple so deep in love that they can't see beyond each other's eyes, plan out not only a pending wedding but as well what will be a blueprint for the rest of their lives together.

Next imagine that for one night all is forgotten. It's funny how your world can turn upside down in an instant either for good or the bad. The ironic thing is that she wound up doing both to me. Now I have some simple philosophies about relationships and one of them just seems to be about trust.

"I will always trust you until you give me a reason not to." She said that there was going to be a girl's nite out at a local club and I told her I was fine with it because she needed it (We were both going through some stress at the time). After finding out that she had already decided not to come back till around 3 in the morning, I decided to make plans for myself so as I wouldn't be left alone all night. I went to the other side of town to hang out with my best friend whom I haven't seen for a long while. I planned everything out perfectly so that I would be at home right around 3 about the same time as her. Well as the night progressed I was starting to get a little dependant on her call. I was waiting to hear how here night was going or for her to as how my night was going...... no call at all.

Right around 2 I decided to call her it was no surprise that she was totally wasted but thanks to her friend from work she was able to get home safely. I rushed to get back home but was only able to make it by 3 like I had intended. As I entered our apartment I found her boots lying in the living room and also found her sound asleep in the room. Now here is the part where I do admit that I could be wrong. As I was setting up to go to sleep as well, I checked her phone and her text messages only to find that she had sent various messages to someone named Anna. By my own knowledge Anna is a female name but these messages weren't made out on that fact. It seemed that she was sending messages to someone named Ricky which I can only think was her ex-boyfriend before I came along a year ago. You also have to keep in mind, that was the last piece of the puzzle that confirmed my suspicions. On earlier occasions she would step out of a room to make a call, became very private about the things she did when I wasn't around, and to top it all off was acting very separated towards me. I think that if it looks like shit, smells like shit, then 10 times out of 10 it is shit. My only assumption was that she is cheating on me. Now here I am, the following day pouring my heart out to anyone that will listen. Everything I have in life is in her. My family is in another state, we've invested so much into each other, and basically outside of this I have nothing. Just in case your wondering if i'm making myself look like a saint, i'm gonna give you some quick details about myself. I'm not a drinker, or a smoker. I'm from what people tell me funny, caring, and at sometimes out going. I have never done anything to harm her and have treated her like a queen. I guess I am a saint after all.

any advice?

I guess with everything in life we are just going to wait and see the outcome. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story.